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Posts Tagged ‘meditation’

After the Myelogram Hell week, the surgeon said that he is confident that lumbar laminectomy/discectomy surgery is all that is required. He sees no indication for fusion. So, that was the upside of Hell week. I am having some massive anxiety over the thought of surgery. However, I do believe that this is the right decision at this time for me. My life has deteriorated over the last year into something I do not recognize nor enjoy at all. I am just hanging on till I wake up Monday after the surgery is over!

I was highly irritated, OK, made as hell, last week at the surgeon’s office, but the surgeon himself is wonderful. He called me Monday and talked to me on the phone for over 1/2 hour. He answered every question I had and did not rush me in the least. Then I was given the neuro anesthesiologist’s email address. I emailed him some questions, and he called me Tues evening and talked to me for almost an hour! We have emailed back and forth about a dozen times in addition to that. Oh, and gave me his cell phone number!! I actually work in the healthcare business and know that this is NOT standard operating procedures for physicians! I am totally impressed with them and feel completely confident in their abilities. I just seem to have this terror about something I can’t quite put my finger on. It has to do with the time up till I’m put under rather than the actual surgery itself.

I’ve started my own prep work. I’m using David Lanz’s Christophori’s Dream CD and visualization. I can have my iPod in my pre and post op suite, so I hope I can get myself in a meditative state (or at a minimum a notch or two calmer) Monday morning before being given the anesthesiology.

I have my eye on the prize: dancing again! I’m thinking Samba lessons….

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